Saturday, 15 December 2012

maafkan aku


Bismillah...

Sampai ke saat ini Allah masih memberikan aku kesempatan untuk terus bernafas dibumiNya...terima kasih ya Allah kerana masih mengurniakan aku kekuatan untuk mencurahkan bakti kepada manusia. Indahnya perasaan ini...hanya Tuhan yang tahu.

"dan manakah antara nikmat Tuhanmu yang hendak engkau dustakan?"

Allah....

Terlalu kerdil aku sebagai hambaMu ya Rabbi...Engkau hadiahkan aku segalanya. Tapi masih juga diri ini jarang bersyukur...

Allah....

Maafkan aku....

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Saturday, 8 December 2012

"A Thousand Years"
Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone?
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more



Wednesday, 27 June 2012

Bismillah....

Time of death: 5.30am

Innalillahi wainna ilaihiraji'un....
Terbang pergi satu roh anak adam menuju Ilahi...sampai sudah waktunya untuk menemui Sang Khaliq. Tak dipercepat, tak diperlambat sedikit pun detiknya....

Ya Allah....

Semoga rohnya ditempatkn dikalangan hamba2Mu yang soleh...amin...

Post call...Yang memenatkan...Entah kenapa rasa sedih datang menghinggap bersama rasa kecewa. Tak sepatutnya aku terbawa perasaan kerana doktor bukan penyambung nyawa...bila ajal sudah datang menjemput hadirkanlah pakar sehebat mana pun, takkan mengubah takdir yang Tuhan sudah termaktub di Luh Mahfuz....

Astaghfirullah...

Ampuni aku ya Allah seandainya ada rasa tinggi hati dalam diri.....

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Thursday, 7 June 2012

sabarkan aku

Langit memancarkan warna jingganya tatkala aku sedang memandu pulang dari hospital. Tenangnya  alam di waktu senja tadi sedikit sebanyak meredakan rasa yang pelbagai perisa dalam diri. Aku mencari di mana kekuatan diri. Membentuk diri menjadi doktor berperibadi tinggi bukan sedikit usahanya. Bukan main2. Bukan mudah. Berdepan dengan kerenah pesakit yang pelbagai dan beban kerja yg banyak kadang2 membuat ikhlas itu pudar. Astaghfirullah....

Aku selalu memohon pada Tuhan agar hati yang sekeping ini bertahan dan tetap kukuh untuk menata hari2 yang penuh mcabar....semoga Allah berkati tiap langkahku dan luruskan niatku...


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Friday, 1 June 2012

2months already since i started my Ho life. There were changes ive made to myself and they affected my life as well.


As a HO ive to learn so many things as i never learn them before in my med school. Compared to the other HO who graduated from local uni, i am the most incompetent one i think..they  are so reliable..and that is so terrible and stressfull. In addittion, most of them will leave this posting soon,so ive no one anymore to teach me or to give guidance doing the procedure.


Everyday i think to quit from this job...but it a waste rite??and ill be the most idiot one if i escaped from this high-paid salary job.kan?


I pray to Allah, every second in my life, to give me strength and patience to face all difficulties and obstacles and make me strong enough to finish my 2-year Ho posting.


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testing

Today i am on pm shift.






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Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Saturday, 19 May 2012

......

am i truly a doctor??



Where this path will lead me?


Saturday, 21 April 2012

This is the beginning of my life journey as a doctor. It has been 3 weeks since i started my HO life. Ive to start from zero since every single thing seems so different compared to what i ve learnt during my medical school. Two days ago i decided to quit from this stressful job and planned to be a 'cekgu tadika' je.
I wz physically exhausted, mentally depressed and emotionally unstable and i d reached my maximum limit that night. i can't even think properly. One of my collegue sms me and ol of sudden i realized that ill waste my 5 years if i  give up just like that. Here what she said....

"It is not easy to start becoming a HO, and even harder when ur first posting is in medical. So do i when i was in O&G for my first posting. Its realy a waste to just give up like that. Every difficulties or mistakes u encounters will just make u a stronger person. Hope u think carefully before u decided to quit."

Ya Allah, guide me plz......gimme strength

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

life




I want to live my life to the absolute fullest
To open my eyes to be all I can be
To travel roads not taken, to meet faces unknown
To feel the wind, to touch the stars
I promise to discover myself
To stand tall with greatness
To chase down and catch every dream
^__^
life is an adventure...

Thursday, 1 March 2012

sunnah berkata baik dan berwajah ceria saat bertemu

Bismillah...


Allah Azza wa Jalla berfirman:
"Dan berendah dirilah kamu terhadap orang- orang yang beriman." [Al-Hijr:88]

"Sekiranya kamu bersikap keras lagi berkasar hati, tentulah mereka menjauhkan diri dari sekelilingmu." [Ali- Imran:159]

Dari Adi Ibn Hatim r.a., dia berkata: Rasulullah Sallallahu alaihi wassalam bersabda: "Takutlah terhadap neraka meskipun dengan (sedekah) separuh biji kurma, barangsiapa tidak mendapatkannya maka cukup dengan tutur kata yang baik." [HR. Bukhari-Muslim]

Dari Abu Hurairah r.a., bahawasanya Nabi Sallallahu alaihi wassalam bersabda: "Dan tutur kata yang baik itu adalah sedekah." [HR Bukhari-Muslim]

Dari Abu Dzar r.a., dia berkata: :Rasulullah Sallallahu alaihi wassalam bersabda kepada saya: "Jangan sekali-kali kamu meremehkan sedikitpun dari kebaikan-kebaikan meskipun hanya kamu berjumpa saudaramu dengan muka manis." [HR.Muslim]

Rujukan: Terjemahan Riyadhus Salihin

....it is not easy to be a better muslimah...Ya Allah...i need ur guidance...

Tuesday, 28 February 2012

I am so sorry

i am so sorry by Irfan Makki

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

a rushing doctor


A doctor entered the hospital in a hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call as soon as he could, changed his clothes & went directly to the surgery block.

He found the boy’s father pacing in the hall waiting for the doctor. On seeing him, the dad yelled, “Why did you take all this time to come? Don’t you know that my son’s life is in danger? Don’t you have any sense of responsibility?”

The doctor smiled & said, “I am sorry, I wasn’t in the hospital & I came as fast as I could after receiving the call. And now, I wish you’d calm down so that I can do my job.” The father replied, “Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now; would you calm down? If your own son dies now what would you do?” said the father angrily.

The doctor smiled again & replied:

الَّذِينَ إِذَا أَصَابَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌ قَالُوا إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ

Who, when disaster strikes them, say, “Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return.” (Quran 2:156)

Doctors cannot prolong lives. Go and do dua for your son, we will do our best by Allah’s Grace.” “Giving advices when you’re not concerned is always easy.” murmured the father.

The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy. “Thank Allah your son is saved” Without waiting for the father’s reply the doctor rushed off down the corridor. As he hurried away he called back, “If you have any questions, please ask the nurse.”

“Why is he so arrogant? He couldn’t wait for a few minutes so that I ask about my son’s state” replied the father.

The nurse answered, tears coming down her face, “His son died yesterday in a road accident, he was at the burial ceremony when we called him for your son’s surgery. Please forgive him, he rushed off to finish burying his son.”

Moral: Never judge anyone’s state, because you never know how their life is & what they’re going through. Always believe in the best in people.



Thursday, 16 February 2012

2:152

Bismillah



"Remember Me and I will remember you.." [Al-Baqarah:152]


Saturday, 11 February 2012

HOUSE OFFICER GUIDE

HOUSE OFFICER GUIDE
by Dr Goon
1.be up early,dress neat,shave.
2.finish your rounds before your consultant.(and arrive before your MO/Reg/Consultant)
practice correct examination technique and REALLY examine the patient not just copy the previous BHT update.
(always practice examinining in a systematic manner and in your spare time-watch how the MRCPians do it with style and clarity)
3.if the nurses chart monitor seems suspicious/made up-check the vitals yourself.
(carry a handbook-e.g Oxford handbook of clinical medicine to check dosages/terms/clinical conditions etc you are unsure).Trace all the results and more importantly INTERPRATE them and act on them accordingly.
4.If dressings are not done by the nurses- check it and do it yourself.Do it for your patient.You will learn how to do dressings effectively and watch wounds heal before your eyes.
5.Do not dissapear from wards and go for long lunches.This isn’t an office job.A patient may collapse or may need medical attention right away.Take turns with fellow HOs to take short breaks(obviuosly only with ones you can trust).
6.If you have referred a case,ordered blood products,arranged for scans/X-rays but it is still not done-please follow up and do not wait to be asked to do that.
A HO is the ” ward producer” and this is an important responsibility.
7.Do not argue over whose patient is this or that- if the work isn’t complete-the patient suffers.Whilst some HOs couldn’t care less-you should be different and care.After all that’s why you chose MEDICINE in the first place.Help your colleagues with their work.
8.If some nurses do not do their jobs,there is no need to argue with them-just a gentle reminder-better yet, do it yourself.Nurses are not trained to understand the urgency of certain medical conditions and the complex pathophysiology and pharmacological interactions.You chose MEDICINE-so be a doctor.If the patient needs to be wheeled down for an investigation and the MAs or nurses are delaying time-offer to wheel the patient down with them.Remember-its not beneath you to do that.Lead by example.
9.When you are on call-know the problematic patients or critically ill patients.Keep a tight watch and review the patient yourself periodically.DO NOT RELY on nurses’ reports which may be inconsistent and inaccurate.(One patient i treated was recorded as BP 120/80 by a certain nurse-he was having hematemesis-when i checked myself -BP was 85/40)
10.Don’t be a hero-inform your MO/Reg/Consultant when a patient deteriorates or when you get referrals that need urgent attention.But obviously-you will need a strong background of medical knowledge to convey information in a legible/intelligent manner.Institute emergent attention yourself whilst waiting for MO/Reg/Consultant.
11.STUDY STUDY STUDY- If you get depressed thinking all you do is scut duties-you should be even more depressed knowing that you do not know enough.Study
-get good materials for the MRCP/MRCOG/MRCPaed/FRCS-. learn how to read CTs/MRIs/X-rays- you can use the chance when you request for investigations from the Radiologists to teach you a thing or two.Study,memorize and examine patients.Think of differentials and don;t just accept what the casualty officer’s diagnosis is.If your MO/Reg is not knowledgable-use that to funnel your own efforts to be a better clinician so as to guide your future HOs.
12.Come on the weekends and do your rounds-know your patients inside out.
Remember,one day you may be a Specialist and if your HO does all these like you do-you can rest well at home.

Thursday, 9 February 2012

refresh

Bismillah...

Dengarkan semula. Refreshing

Adakah kau lupa
Kita pernah berjaya

Adakah kau lupa
Kita pernah berkuasa

Memayungi dua pertiga dunia
Menrentas benua melayar samudera
Keimanan juga ketaqwaan
Rahsia mereka capai kejayaan

Bangunlah wahai anak bangsa
Kita bina kekuatan jiwa
Tempuh rintangan perjuangan

Gemilang generasi yang silam
Membawa arus perubahan
Keikhlasan hati dan nurani
Ketulusan jiwa mereka berjuang

Sejarah telah mengajar kita
Budaya Islam di serata dunia
Membina tamadun berjaya
Merubah mengangkat maruah



OFF. To Segamat.

nothing last forever


Nothing last forever...


Friday, 20 January 2012

..

Bismillah..

"Sungguh, setan itu tidak akan berpengaruh terhadap orang yang beriman dan bertawakkal kepada Tuhan." [16:99]



kuat2!


..

Aku semakin takut ke sana

beban dosa2ku semakin berat

apakah aku diterima nanti

ya Allah...

didik hati ini

jinakkan nafsuku

ampunkan segala khilafku

:(

..


mereka sungguh baik.

huff..

aku?

Ya Allah...bimbinglah aku..

Friday, 13 January 2012

Er..

Bismillah...

Alhamdulillah. Masih diberi peluang bernafas di muka bumi Tuhan ini. Terasa lama tak menulis. Sebenarnya banyak yang ingin diceritakan, tapi ruang waktu itu tiada. Sudah dua minggu bertapa di rumah yang terletak di Kampung Ulu Pulai, Johor. Kesempatan untuk melapangkan fikiran, membina motivasi untuk melangkah ke alam pekerjaan yang dengarnya begitu mencabar di hadapan sana. Oh, Tuhan, selagi aku masih hambaMu, Engkau sajalah tempat aku berharap..mudahkan segala urusan dan tetapkan hatiku di atas jalanMu ini, walau sesibuk manapun aku nanti, aku harap Engkau masih tetap di hati ini. Amin.


Baru dua hari lepas aku ke Putrajaya. Menguruskan hal registrasi dengan MMC, then ke KKM, SPA dan Pejabat Mara di Jalan Raja Laut. Senangnya urusan kat sini, kalau di negara seberang sana belum tentu selesai dalam waktu satu hari. Jadual temuduga ditetapkan pada 31hb nanti. Turun Putrajaya lagi untuk sesi temuduga dengan SPA. Semoga dipermudahkan.

Bertahun menadah hujan emas di negeri orang, sampai masa untuk kembali ke tempat sendiri biar hujannya adalah batu yang menimpa. Er.. Alhamdulillah, 5 tahun tu cepat saja berlalu. "Apa yang baik dibawalah ke Malaysia, yang buruk jangan.." kata seorang kenalan sebelum kami berpisah. "Nanti mampirlah ke rumah kalau ke Malaysia.." sambutku. Semoga tali silaturrahim itu berkekalan.

Rindu pada tanah bekas jajahan Belanda itu pasti ada, tapi untuk kembali ke sana lagi mungkin tidak rasanya. Cukup lah...sekali saja. Tanah itu dan seisinya telah menambah warna dalam kehidupanku. Untuk palitan warna yang berseri dan indah aku ucapkan terima kasih, pada palitan yang pudar dan gelap, tak apa, ia membuat aku sedar hidup tak selalu cantik dan molek...

Ijazah Profesi Dokter...aku hadiahkan pada mak dan abah yang tak pernah henti doanya siang dan malam, beserta sokongan mereka untuk melihat aku berjaya. Tak terbalas pengorbanan mereka untuk kami adik beradik. Mak, abah, hanya Allah sajalah yang membalas kebaikan kalian berdua. Aku hanya mampu doakan mereka tetap diberikan kesihatan dan dan kekuatan untuk menjalankan tugas sebagai hambaNya, diampunkan segala dosa yang pernah dilakukan...amin.

Gelaran ini bukan untuk dibangga-banggakan, bahkan ia merupkan suatu tanggungjawab yang harus dipikul dan ia akan dipertanyakan di akhirat nanti. Ya Allah, tunjukkan aku jalan yang benar...amin..